Tag Archives: turd

Sci-Fi Party Line #359 Epic Dump: Turd of the Decade

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Cat (@fancyfembot) and Carl (@robominister) get together for their annual tradition, THE TURD OFF. This year is a little different; WE MADE A VIDCAST! Also, due to the Covid-19 Global Pandemic we switched it up a bit this year. We gathered all the films from Turd’s past and put them head to head to determine THE TURD OF THE DECADE.

Turd Criteria:
1) Squandered Effects: Did they have a big budget and use special effects in a meaningful way to advance the story or were the special effects not compelling and misused/underutilized given the budget of the film?
2) Acting?: Did the acting contribute to the enjoyment of the film or was it painful to watch? Did the casting make sense for the film?
3) Turdage Per Dollar: Was there a big budget and nothing to show for it? Did they use the budget to create an effective film or was it wasted?
4) Fury Upon Exit: Were you pissed off when you were done watching this film? Do you still have residual fury when you talk about it?
5) Which Sequel Would Offend the Least?: Do you want a sequel? Could you tolerate a sequel?

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Sci-Fi Party Line #341 10th Annual 2019 TURD OFF! Part 2 of 2

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Cat (@fancyfembot) and Carl (@robominister) drop number two of the 10th Annual TURD OFF for 2019!

The final turds are:
Men In Black International
Ad Astra
Captive State
Replicas
Glass

Turd Criteria:
1) Squandered Effects: Did they have a big budget and use special effects in a meaningful way to advance the story or were the special effects not compelling and misused/underutilized given the budget of the film?
2) Acting?: Did the acting contribute to the enjoyment of the film or was it painful to watch? Did the casting make sense for the film?
3) Turdage Per Dollar: Was there a big budget and nothing to show for it? Did they use the budget to create an effective film or was it wasted?
4) Fury Upon Exit: Were you pissed off when you were done watching this film? Do you still have residual fury when you talk about it?
5) Which Sequel Would Offend the Least?: Do you want a sequel? Could you tolerate a sequel?

Films of Turds Past:
2010 Last Airbender vs. Skyline*
2011 Cowboys & Aliens vs. Transformers: Dark of the Moon*
2012 Branded* vs. Lockout
2013 After Earth* vs. RIPD and The Host vs. Gallowwalkers
2014 The Signal vs. Transformers: Age of Extinction*
2015 Fantastic Four* vs. Jupiter Ascending vs. Terminator: Genisys
2016 Arrival vs. Morgan vs. Independence Day: Resurgence* vs. X-Men: Apocalypse
2017 Transformers: The Last Knight vs. Geostorm* vs. The Mummy vs. Beyond Skyline
2018 Occupation vs. Cloverfield Paradox* vs. Future World vs. The Predator
2019 Ad Astra vs. Captive State vs. Men in Black International vs. Replicas vs. Glass

 (Listen to find out!) 

*Bold denotes the winner for the year.

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Sci-Fi Party Line #340 10th Annual 2019 TURD OFF! Part 1 of 2 💩

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Cat (@fancyfembot) and Carl (@robominister) due their yearly “dooty” and push out the sci-fi turds of 2019! Listen to part 1 as we sort through the stinky contenders that are striving for the brown💩!

Turd Criteria:
1) Squandered Effects: Did they have a big budget and use special effects in a meaningful way to advance the story or were the special effects not compelling and misused/underutilized given the budget of the film?
2) Acting?: Did the acting contribute to the enjoyment of the film or was it painful to watch? Did the casting make sense for the film?
3) Turdage Per Dollar: Was there a big budget and nothing to show for it? Did they use the budget to create an effective film or was it wasted?
4) Fury Upon Exit: Were you pissed off when you were done watching this film? Do you still have residual fury when you talk about it?
5) Which Sequel Would Offend the Least?: Do you want a sequel? Could you tolerate a sequel?

Films of Turds Past:
2010 Last Airbender vs. Skyline*
2011 Cowboys & Aliens vs. Transformers: Dark of the Moon*
2012 Branded* vs. Lockout
2013 After Earth* vs. RIPD and The Host vs. Gallowwalkers
2014 The Signal vs. Transformers: Age of Extinction*
2015 Fantastic Four* vs. Jupiter Ascending vs. Terminator: Genisys
2016 Arrival vs. Morgan vs. Independence Day: Resurgence* vs. X-Men: Apocalypse
2017 Transformers: The Last Knight vs. Geostorm* vs. The Mummy vs. Beyond Skyline
2018 Occupation vs. Cloverfield Paradox* vs. Future World vs. The Predator
 (Listen to find out!) 

*Bold denotes the winner for the year.

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Sci-Fi Party Line #313 2018 9th Annual TURD OFF

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Cat (@fancyfembot) and Carl (@robominister) are back again for the NINTH ANNUAL SCI-FI PARTY LINE TURD OFF. Listen as they relieve themselves of the Turdiest Film of 2018.

Final Four Turds:

  • Occupation
  • Cloverfield Paradox
  • Future World
  • The Predator

Turd Criteria:
1) Squandered Effects: Did they have a big budget and use special effects in a meaningful way to advance the story or were the special effects not compelling and misused/underutilized given the budget of the film?
2) Acting?: Did the acting contribute to the enjoyment of the film or was it painful to watch? Did the casting make sense for the film?
3) Turdage Per Dollar: Was there a big budget and nothing to show for it? Did they use the budget to create an effective film or was it wasted?
4) Fury Upon Exit: Were you pissed off when you were done watching this film? Do you still have residual fury when you talk about it?
5) Which Sequel Would Offend the Least?: Do you want a sequel? Could you tolerate a sequel?

Films of Turds Past:
2010 Last Airbender vs. Skyline*
2011 Cowboys & Aliens vs. Transformers: Dark of the Moon*
2012 Branded* vs. Lockout
2013 After Earth* vs. RIPD and The Host vs. Gallowwalkers
2014 The Signal vs. Transformers: Age of Extinction*
2015 Fantastic Four* vs. Jupiter Ascending vs. Terminator: Genisys
2016 Arrival vs. Morgan vs. Independence Day: Resurgence* vs. X-Men: Apocalypse
2017 Transformers: The Last Knight vs. Geostorm* vs. The Mummy vs. Beyond Skyline
2018 Occupation vs. Cloverfield Paradox vs. Future World vs. The Predator
 (Listen to find out!) 

*Bold denotes the winner for the year.

Closing out the show is “Shit Mirror” on the latest Nine Inch Nails album Bad Witch.

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Sci-Fi Party Line #263 2016 Film Review + TURD OFF Part 3

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

It’s part 3 of the SEVENTH ANNUAL SCI-FI PARTY LINE TURD OFF!
Your patience has paid off! Cat (@fancyfembot) and Carl (@robominister) wrap up the longest TURD OFF ever. Before we do, we review Star Trek Beyond. After that, we decide which was the turdiest sci-fi film of 2016: Arrival, Morgan, Independence Day: Resurgence, or X-Men: Apocalypse.

These are the criteria that we base our decision:
1) Squandered Effects: Did they have a budget and use SFX in a meaningful way to advance the story or were SFX not compelling and misused/underutilized given the budget of the film?
2) Acting?: The acting contribute to the enjoyment of the film or was it painful to watch? Did the casting make sense for the film?
3) Turdage Per Dollar: Was there a big budget and nothing to show for it? Did they use the budget to create an effective film or was it wasted?
4) Fury Up On Exit: Were you pissed off when you were done watching this film? Do you still have residual fury when you talk about it?
5) Which Sequel Would Offend the Least?: Do you want a sequel? Could you tolerate a sequel?

Films of Turds Past
2010 Last Airbender vs. Skyline*
2011 Cowboys & Aliens vs. Transformers: Dark of the Moon*
2012 Branded* vs. Lockout
2013 After Earth* vs. RIPD and The Host vs. Gallowwalkers
2014 The Signal vs. Transformers: Age of Extinction*
2015 Fantastic Four* vs. Jupiter Ascending vs. Terminator: Genisys
*Winners of past Turd Offs
 

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Sci-Fi Party Line #262 2016 Film Review + TURD OFF Part 2

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PART TWO!

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

It’s part 2 of the SEVENTH ANNUAL SCI-FI PARTY LINE TURD OFF!
Cat (@fancyfembot) and Carl (@robominister) continue our yearly tradition coaxing out the yearly sci-fi turd. We start out Captain America: Civil War. Cat was impressed that Cap kicked a whole bunch of ass in a pair of khakis. Carl merely ‘enjoyed’ the film. We, of course, mention Black Panther and its casting choices. We wrap up the show with X-Men: Apocalypse – Carl’s turd-, and Ghostbusters.

X-Men: Apocalypse – Deleted Mall Scene from Achilles Inv on Vimeo.

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Sci-Fi Party Line #261 2016 Film Review + TURD OFF – Pt 1

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

It’s the SEVENTH ANNUAL SCI-FI PARTY LINE TURD OFF!
Cat (@fancyfembot) and Carl (@robominister) come together for our yearly tradition. We started off with 5th Wave but Carl receives a call from his mom IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SHOW. We resumed with other small budget films Divergent, Max Steel, Equals, Cell, Approaching the Unknown, and 10 Cloverfield Lane.
The first turd, as declared by Cat, comes up as Arrival. The last space film discussed was Passengers. After those we transition into superhero films: Dead Pool, Suicide Squad, and briefly Batman v. Superman.

“If I had driven my car to the theater — and left it — it would have doubled the box office of this film.”
Carl on Approaching the Unknown

“Newborn friggin’ babies can put this puzzle together.”
Cat on Arrival

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Sci-Fi Party Line #232 Sixth Annual Turd Off for 2015

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The most favorite Sci-Fi Party Line tradition is back!

Welcome to our SIXTH ANNUAL TURD OFF!

We mention several terrible films such as Vice, Maze Runner: Scorch Trials, 400 Days, Robot Overlords, Teenage Mutant Ninja, and more but they didn’t make the Official Turd List because they weren’t popular enough and/or had no expectation of being epic.

These are the criteria that we base our decision:
1) Squandered Effects: Did they have a budget and use SFX in a meaningful way to advance the story or were SFX not compelling and misused/underutilized given the budget of the film?
2) Acting?: The acting contribute to the enjoyment of the film or was it painful to watch? Did the casting make sense for the film?
3) Turdage Per Dollar: Was there a big budget and nothing to show for it? Did they use the budget to create an effective film or was it wasted?
4) Fury Up On Exit: Were you pissed off when you were done watching this film? Do you still have residual fury when you talk about it?
5) Which Sequel Would Offend the Least?: Do you want a sequel? Could you tolerate a sequel?

2015 Official Turd List

Fantastic Four – $120M Production Budget, $56M Domestic Gross, $168M International — Made the list because it is a Marvel property and should live up to Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Avengers, Agents of SHEILD, Daredevil, and Jessica Jones.

Jupiter Ascending – $176M Production Budget, $47M Domestic Gross, $176M International — Made the list because it was a highly anticipated project from the Wachowski’s.

Terminator: Genisys – $155M Production Budget, $89M Domestic Gross, $350 International — Made the list because it brought back Arnold Schwartznegger as the Terminator and starred Emilia Clarke and Jai Courtney.

“Blanded to DEATH!”
– Carl (@robominister)

“That was the worst type of anything that you could have done, ever!”
– Cat (@fancyfembot)

Films of Turds Past
2010 Last Airbender vs. Skyline*
2011 Cowboys & Aliens vs. Transformers: Dark of the Moon*
2012 Branded* vs. Lockout
2013 After Earth* vs. RIPD and The Host vs. Gallowwalkers
2014 The Signal vs. Transformers: Age of Extinction*

*Winners of past Turd Offs

 

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Sci-Fi Party Line #210 5th Annual Turd Off Part 2

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“You know when YOU watch porn Carl?”
– Cat (@fancyfembot)

“He’s a race car driver which is particularly useful in a movie with a bunch of cars that can drive themselves!”
– Carl (@robominister)

“Really? With the car chase throughout the refinery? That shit made no sense!”
– Carl (@robominister)

“I’m gonna dominate you into being my bitch, my transforming dino bitch.”
– Cat (@fancyfembot)

“The dialogue is a freakish Bingo game of cliches and catchphrases.”
– Carl (@robominister)
 

♫It’s the most
wonderful time
of the YEAR!♫

Part two of our 5th Annual Sci-Fi Party Line Turd Off!
In the second part of their efforts to squeeze out the bile of 2014, Cat and Carl reveal the two biggest turds of of the year and analyze which of those with the absolute poo prize. Cat is calling next year’s turd; Jupiter Ascending.

 

Sci-Fi Turd Off Criteria

  • Squandered Effects
  • Acting?
  • Turdage per dollar
  • Fury upon exit
  • Which sequel would offend the least?

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Sci-Fi Party Line #209 Automata, Robocop, The Signal – Turd Off Part 1

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ANBTONIO BANDERAS

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“She looks like someone disassembled a crash test dummy and mixed it with a store mannequin.”
– Carl (@robominister)

“It doesn’t matter what form the robot takes (because) it’s gonna be able to survive. It didn’t need to be in roach form.”
– Cat (@fancyfembot)

“Sure it’s gonna cause a little chaos in the beginning but eventually it’s gonna say ‘You know what? This is a dumb game. The only way to win is not to play’.”
– Carl (@robominister)

“The painful part about it is that I absolutely pulled this switch off of a tree and asked Carl to spank me with it.”
– Cat (@fancyfembot)
♫It’s the most
wonderful time
of the YEAR!♫

That’s right folks! Listen to part one of the 5th Annual Sci-Fi Party Line Turd Off.
On this episode Cat and Carl discuss “Turd de Force” parameters, Automata (@11:10), Robocop (@50:30), The Signal (@57:30), and Divergent (@1:10:45).

Stay tuned for Part 2 where we declare the turds of 2014!

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[POLL] Vote for your Sci-Fi Party Line Turd of 2014

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turdsandwich
It’s that time of year where we hand out the adamantium shaped turd trophy to the worst science fiction film of the year. As per our tradition, we ask YOU, the listener, for your opinion about which films you thought were the worst.

Cast your vote in the 5th annual Sci-Fi Party Line Turd Off! Comment below if we’ve forgotten a film.

What was the worst film of 2014? (You can choose more than one.)

View Results

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Sci-Fi Party Line #164 5th Anniversary and 4th Annual TURD OFF!

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“The movies were not crappy enough this year.”
-Carl (@robominister)

“What is that? A Schlitz?”
-Cat (@fancyfembot) 

sfpl_turdoff2013

Welcome to the 5th anniversary of Sci-Fi Party Line. Cat and Carl celebrate by doing our 4th Annual TURD OFF! The movies on the chopping block are Gallowwalkers, The Host, RIPD, and After Earth. We discuss some films we’re looking forward to in 2014: Edge of Tomorrow, Transcendence, Jupiter Ascending, Welcome to Yesterday, and Interstellar.

Thank you all for a wonderful year. It wouldn’t be fun without YOU, the listeners!

Sci-Fi Turd Off Criteria

  • Squandered Effects
  • Acting?
  • Turdage per dollar
  • Fury upon exit
  • Which sequel would offend the least?

Outer Limits episode ‘Second Soul‘ FREE on Hulu.

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Sci-Fi Party Line #145 3RD Annual TURD OFF!

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“The ultimate turd has gotta inspire something in you. You gotta FEEL a turd. I’m sorry, Ghost Rider was not good but I was not ‘moved’.”
-Carl (@robominister) 

“Bill and Ted is the best example of time looping use in a sci-fi movie period… better than Back to the Future… and I will challenge anyone to say otherwise.”
-Carl (@robominister)

“Watch Birdemic before you watch this.”
-Cat (@fancyfembot)

[[[[[[[[[[[[[ SPOILER ALERT ]]]]]]]]]]]]]

Welcome to the final show of 1012 and our 3RD Annual TURD OFF! Cat and Carl are keeping with their yearly tradition of finding the worst films of the year.

This year’s candidates aren’t so clear and they chose from Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence, Underworld Awakening, Lockout, Total Recall, Looper, Branded, and Dredd 3D. You’ll be surprised (baffled questionmark?) at the winner!

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[POLL] Fan Turds: Which were the worst movies this year?

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Grab some toilet paper and light a match! It’s the 4th Annual Sci-Fi Party Line Turd Off!

Help Carl (@robominister) and Cat (@fancyfembot) decide which two movies should duke it out to receive the 2012 Turd Award by participating in the poll below. Comment if a movie should be added.

Fan Turds: Which were the worst movies this year? (You can choose more than one.)

  • Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengence (21%, 6 Votes)
  • Battleship (18%, 5 Votes)
  • Underworld: Awakening (14%, 4 Votes)
  • Total Recall (14%, 4 Votes)
  • The Watch (14%, 4 Votes)
  • Dredd 3D (7%, 2 Votes)
  • Iron Sky (4%, 1 Votes)
  • The Hunger Games (4%, 1 Votes)
  • Prometheus (4%, 1 Votes)
  • Cloud Atlas (0%, 0 Votes)
  • Looper (0%, 0 Votes)
  • Resident Evil: Retribution (0%, 0 Votes)
  • Lockout (0%, 0 Votes)

Total Voters: 14

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Sci-Fi Party Line #118 In Time, 2nd Annual Sci-Fi Turd Off, A Look at 2012

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“The turds will be minimally turdage, not the ones that inflicted the full bowel of last year.”
-Carl (@robominister) on our Annual Sci-Fi Turd Off

“Every movie is not supposed to be Americanized and wrapped and chewed up and regurgitated and fed to you like a baby bird.”
-Cat (@fancyfembot) on Sucker Punch

“Aliens that use lassos bother me. When you got space ships using grappling hooks; that offends me… You can defy gravity, you get all the way here and you are going to rope people?”
-Carl (@robominister) on Cowboys & Aliens

[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[[ SPOILER ALERT ]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]

It’s the end of the year and we have a two-hour show jam packed full of the best and worst science fiction TV shows and movies of the year. Today’s crew is Cat and Carl. We kick off the show with the barely promoted In Time. After that we give the rules for our Second Annual Sci-Fi Turd Off (@15:51). We do a brief review of Cowboys & Aliens (@23:38) prior to putting Cowboys & Aliens and Transformers: Dark of the Moon head to head in this year’s Turd Off (@42:25). We cool off by talking about our favorite sci-fi movies of the year (@1:04:19) but get agitated again by discussing the sci-fi TV turds of the year (@1:15:40). We couldn’t end the show without a mention of SyFy’s holiday specials for Eureka, Warehouse 13, and Haven (@1:32:40). Finally, we wrap up by discussing the movies that we are anticipating in 2012 (@1:36:08).

Thank you all for a wonderful year. It wouldn’t be fun without YOU, the listeners!

Sci-Fi Turd Off Criteria

  • Squandered Effects
  • Acting?
  • Turdage per dollar
  • Fury upon exit
  • Which sequel would offend the least?

In Time Official Website

First Sci-Fi Turd Off

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The Sci-Fi Party Line theme was created by Eric Escamilla.

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